The Astros=Bad Sex

So far it's been an unmemorable Memorial Day weekend. What better way to chase away the blues than a baseball game. But it's the Astros..oh well. Jumped on the #82 headed to Minute Maid Park Monday morning. A gentleman in his 50s or 60s got on carrying what looked like to me a vintage phonebook. I thought what is this freak doing reading a phonebook that was like 40 years old? Then I spied diagrams...bomb making diagrams! You've got to be kidding?! In Houston effin' Texas! Our bus barrelled up Louisiana Street. I felt like I was a bus riding extra in the movie SPEED! This was The Best Bus Ride Ever! Suddenly the Dennis Hopper-wanna-be must have realized we passed the federal building, so he pushed the stop requested strip and got off dazed and confused about 7 blocks north of his target. Read about you in My Yahoo! News manana.
Minute Maid park is a beauty, but why is the top on? That sucks, but so do the Astros. Thank G-d for Angela the Mistress of Beer. She made my day by carding me when I got an adult beverage. Go see her across from sections 124-125 at The Union Station. The friendly employees make up for the disaster on the field.

Houston played like shit. I am the biggest fan of the guy that hopped out of the right field boxes during  the 7th inning, ran straight across the outfield. cleared the center field fence, then was dragged out of the ballpark by security. Marry me?!?! Another disgruntled fan attempted this feat in the 8th inning but was tackled in center field by the waiting po po. Fans aren't getting their $$$s worth from the players, so we might as well be entertained by the fans. Jon and Kate minus eight sat in front of me and were interesting for a little while. She nagged her cuckolded mate as he surfed porn on his phone. What a happy American couple. I paid 40$$$ for this? Astros need to teach some fundamentals at practice if they expect to win and get any people to pay to see them play. Some drunk ladies in the restroom said "you know what the Astros have in common with bad sex? ...Everything! hahahahaha". So, I thought about it and came up with this-it starts out fine, then starts to go down hill from there; you hang in there hoping things will improve until you just have to scream STOP THE MADNESS!!!  Happy Memorial Day!