My sister, Lila, and I left her palatial estate in Gravel Ridge for our Eureka adventure Saturday morning. Shortly into our trip, we encountered two donkeys pleasuring each other in a pasture by the side of the road. What fun! Before you could say "ass-lickin'" we had passed these passionate lovers and I had been too exhilaratingly shocked to take pictures.Damn it! I had a feeling this was going to be a fun trip.
We stopped for gas in Clinton where we were surprised to see a shoeless woman in the restroom. Lila and I snickered and pointed then ran back to the safety of my Jeep. I love Arkansas! Onward to Eureka. We arrived without further incident and checked into our hotel. We were informed that there was a National Scion Convention headquartered at the hotel, and they had already warned those young people in their souped-up nissans to shut the hell up. OK, maybe we will make some new friends... Eureka is a great place to walk, shop and people-watch. After browsing the Rowdy Beaver and other fine establishments, we decided it was 5pm somewhere and hunted for a local watering hole. We by chance found a scary bar called Rogue's Manor. The bar was dimly lit and you had a full view of the rock and springs underground that made Eureka famous. Our bartender was Stella who was originally from Conway, but has been in Eureka Springs for 12 years. She is married to the local tattoo artist. Stella showed us her husband's latest masterpiece on her arm. It was a zombie Elizabeth Taylor. I must say it creeped me out a little because I always think of Liz in Giant!, not as a decomposed monster. I'll have another tequila with a beer chaser please!!! Stella's tats were beautifully done, but they really contributed to my heavy drinking while we were at Rogue's. To top off my drunken paranoia, Stella told us that she often sees the ghost of Dr.Car and his dead cat at night. Yikes! Eureka is full of ghosts and it never fails to make my neck hairs rise when told about a ghost sighting. I took Stella's picture, then I saw there was a ghostly orb in it. I decided if I kept drinking it would make it all go away...no such luck. Lila and I made it back to the hotel in one piece where the Scion Asylum Car Show was in full swing. I passed out with my 38 close by.
Sunday morning came quickly. I went outside to investigate the Asylum fanatics. A very surly beast from Dallas told me that Scion owners get together once a year to show off their cars. One chulo drove 2200 miles to be there. This calls for another day of drinking I do believe. Lila and I ate, shopped then heard a live band and headed towards it. It was at the New Delhi bar and restaurant. The band was Rachel and the Holy Rollers, and they were set up outside on the patio. We found a table next to a lady with a basket full of prescription meds in front of her. Lila asked her what happened to her and she put her drink and cigarette down momentarily to reply that she had fallen off the sidewalk and broke her foot. She was feeling no pain so we all kicked back to clap along to Rachel's church service. Most of the band's songs praised Jesus, so I suppose this is considered Sunday morning religion the Eureka way. Eddie the Jewelry Maker stopped by to show us his latest creations. He had a cool bracelet made out of copper wire. Too bad I didn't have $150 or that sucker would have been mine. As Eddie showed us how he made his jewelry, he told us that his family was the first anglo family to migrate to this area in 1823. He had some incredible stories, so next time I'm going to buy some of his wares so maybe he can go see a dentist...
STELLA!!!!!!!7!
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