Thursday, July 29, 2010

Keep Portland Weird

Finally, it's time for my summer vacation. I love Portland, Oregon, so I decided to plan my Portland visit around the annual Oregon Brewfest. It's always the last full weekend in July, and this year 78,000 rowdy drunks were in attendance during the four day swigfest. What happens in Oregon, stays in Oregon (and goes on my blog).
I took Metro's Airport Express to IAH and loved it. My bus driver was Joseph, and he's been driving for Metro for over 25 years. He was great. I encourage Houston to hop the bus to the airport next time you leave Space City because Metro is the only way to travel, especially if you have been drinking...
Portland was cool and sunny. I got on the #15 bus to ride to drinks, I mean dinner, and was acosted by The Busdriver from HELL. He screamed at me for not filling my bus- pass out correctly. I was so amazed that anyone screams in Portland, which seems to be Let's Get High City U.S.A., that I rode for 2 blocks then got off. I thanked The Busdriver from HELL for his helpfullness as he continued to yell at me, so I then called him a rude-ass motherfucker and told him he should thank his lucky stars I didn't shank him.
Next morning was the beer brunch and parade where I only talked to shiny, happy people. I loved that the mayor of Portland, Sam What's His Name led the parade of drunks to the waterfront for Brewfest. What a trip! Who doesn't love a parade? Houston needs a brewfest. Everyone was thrilled to be strolling the streets of Portland with beer mugs in hand. Once we got to Brewfest, I was like a kid in a candy store. So many beers, so little time. People came from all over the globe for this experience and it was well worth it. I met many interesting characters, and partook of tons of great brews. I attended Brewfest three days, so I do believe I'm a beer expert now. After Portland, it was time to hit the brewpubs in Tacoma and Seattle. More on that after I've convalesced a couple of days. Remember, when it's time for a beer, like for breakfast or something, think Oregon then drink Oregon!