A rainy Saturday morning in Houston...perfect time and weather for a Metro ride. It has been ages since I have had a bus adventure, so I thought I'd head to the Heights for coffee and a Chinese New Year shindig. As soon as I approached my first bus stop, I saw a nicely clad man with all of his teeth holding a sign. Not your usual Westheimer panhandler, so I thought I'd find out his story. His name is Doug, and he shared with me that he has a business degree from Columbia University. His 14 year old son was at home watching t.v. as Daddy Doug was trying to make the rent. Doug had recently lost his job, so he decided that the River Oaks area was the place to be to make a little money. What an entrepreneur!Next weekend, I'm making a sign that reads Help A Teacher Out; Thanks To Rick Perry Budget Cuts, I Can't Afford Quality Sushi!. Rode the #81 to catch the #27. As soon as I approached the bus stop, I saw Crazy Crocs mumbling to himself and smoking a cigarette. I didn't take his picture merely because he scares me to death. Crazy Crocs is a 50ish white dude that has few teeth and smells of pee, but sports a really rockin' pair of black crocs. He got upset at his imaginary friend and wondered off at the same time a different looney came over to talk to me. Polo Bitch kept telling me that he has lived in his house for 35 years and that he has a lot of broken bones. Then he would laugh and tell me that he knew he was a bitch with his Polo shirt and Steve Madden shoes. Really? Where the hell is the bus? Another fresh smelling young man started telling me that waiting for the bus would be much more fun if we had a joint... I don't think so.The bus finally arrived and we learned that it had been rear ended by a car. The wreck made for a bus load of unhappy people, many of which were going to be late for their parenting class. One man told me that he didn't need anymore trouble out of Child Protective Services. I failed to ask him why he was in trouble with CPS to begin with because he began bending my ear about how some crack ho in the class wanted to have a baby with him. She is 24 with 5 kids. Stop! I want to get off! I finally made it to the Heights. After my exciting bus riding morning, I enjoyed a latte and omelet at Heights Ashbury Coffeehouse. Glenna Allen was playing the guitar and singing songs about sex, love and murder. Does life get any better than this? After breakfast, I had a noneventful day strolling and shopping. I got slightly excited when I spotted a trash can that said Bitch In! Unfortunately someone had turned the P into a B.Creativity is alive and well on 19th street. I waited an hour for #26 back to Montrose.No good stories on the return trip, but lots of time to contemplate my new panhandling sign.
