Insane Clown Posse

I love it when people my age jump around and act like fools, so I was thrilled when my BFF, Charlotte,told me that her boytoy could hook us up with free tickets to the Insane Clown Posse concert at the Warehouse on 12/6. Although it was a school night, I thought it was well worth losing a few hours of sleep for.
I got on the internet Sunday night to listen to the ICP Christmas cd. OMG!!! It was the most disgusting thing I had ever heard. I couldn't wait for the concert. This was going to be epic.
As I walked up to the Warehouse to find Juggalette Charlotte, I came close to getting puked on by a rabid, wheelchair-bound ICP fan. Fast thinking saved me from sporting vomit soaked jeans, but my luck wouldn't last. I saw a line full of insane clowns and decided to talk to a few. The first dedicated fans I interviewed were Candace and Gary from Louisiana. They had even driven to Florida last year for an ICP throwdown. They were a lovely couple, and I hope they survived the melee. As I spied a rowdy, drunken group to talk to, a gang of juggalos ran past us, spraying coke/bourbon/? all over us. Better than puke...I guess. Everyone was having a high 'ol time when Boytoy Jay took me inside for the bloodbath. By the time Juggalette Charlotte arrived, the party was in overdrive. I've never seen so many saggy pants in my life. We downed some drinks and tried to blend in.
The opening act looked and sounded like they would probably eat a litter of kittens for Sunday dinner, but Charlotte and I had a good laugh over them and the audience in general.The later it got, the more scared I got. What's a middle-aged school teacher doing in a place like this? I was obviously not in the spirit of the evening, so I got another drink. I attempted to look as high as the rest of the fans, but since I was able to stand upright I knew that wouldn't work. My BFF and I threw our hands in the air and acted as stupid as we could. No one bothered us and all was well.

Jay and Charlotte left to get something to eat, and I had to fend for myself. ICP finally came on stage and the crowd went ape-shit. I kept waiting on the sound of gun fire, but the fans were too drugged-out to bust a cap in anything. I longed for a shower and had seen enough for one night, so I bolted for the exit and prayed I'd make it out alive. On my drive home, I sent Charlotte a text that I had left. About 30 minutes later, that juggalo sent me a text saying that ICP had just gotten on stage and it truly was INSANE! Hahaha-I have no idea who I was watching but it was enough craziness for me. From now on I'll stick to riding the bus. It's safer!